#NCN for Nov. 8 – Apparently, Women Hate Each Other

So… who the fuck started the rumor that women hate each other? Like, I really do not understand it. I mean, I have met other women who are assholes, but much, much less frequently than I’ve met men, who are typically assholes in a much worse way. We see this stereotype play out in every facet of society – TV and movies depict “good girls” being corrupted by “bad girls”, like Cady and Regina in Mean Girls. Comedians joke so often about how horrible women are to each other, I literally have no idea why anyone thinks it’s funny anymore. It’s become the modern version of ‘what about airline food?’ From a young age, our parents and teachers warn us, explicitly or by example, to not be like those other girls, who wear short skirts only to attract the attention of pubescent boys and wind up pregnant at 15, their lives in objective ruins.

It’s really no wonder women hate other women. We’ve absorbed the ever-present idea that we should hate each other, that we need to set ourselves apart from women who are not like us, that they are our competition and need to be torn down. Not only that, but we’re taught as children that it is improper for us to communicate our negative feelings, especially anger, directly, so we learn to express ourselves in much more subtle (and often, much more painful) ways (read Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons and take a sledgehammer to all the assumptions you’ve made about how women express their emotions). Seriously. No fucking wonder.

What’s awesome is that the last few generations of women have been a lot more open, empowering, and positive. I love it. These stereotypes are no longer relevant, if they ever were, and anyone who tries to tell you women hate each other is only trying to control your behavior, so you try to stand apart from the crowd by bending to the male will – think about that shit. Think about the kinds of guys who espouse the evils of women (or, “females,” as they often call us) and take a moment to consider what they stand to gain from that, whether they realize it or not.

Like, go into any space where women have congregated and say you’re hungry or thirsty or need a tampon and see if your needs don’t get met within minutes. Women are beautiful, strong, amazing people. We have to fill a lot of roles throughout our lives and we do it so well, not to mention how hard it is for our transgender sisters and those of us who identify as non-binary in some way. I’m proud of you. I’m rooting for you. Please root for each other.


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